im a genious. moved my bed and mirror so i can watch the game while Fucking
Just wanted to remind you that you literally cut the underwear off a man.
He literally is quoting that 21 questions song, the 50 cent one. oh my god.
I mass texted 4 of you for a booty call. Please reply all when responding so only one of you shows up. Last one is a rotten egg.
Why is Kyle using one of my nieces as a blunt object to provoke and attack my other niece?
well, obviously he didn't fuck me for my strong moral fiber.
So far, my day has been sparkling with the tears of a thousand rainbow unicorns. I'd say this is quality shit you've grown.
When I picked you up, you were drinking Maker's Mark out of the bottle with a crazy straw.
I fell off my bed and busted open my chin on the prisoner of azkaban. Somehow missed the almost empty Jose handle next to it. So guess what I was doing last night?
I'm in my bed. Snow angles in fresh sheets. don't even try to get me out tonight.
I think we need to stage an Intervention. Her Instagram is a call for help.
I'm playing a lilo and stitch drinking game
Aloha alcoholism.
He came to my Harry Potter marathon wearing a Hogwarts uniform. Of course I fucked him.
Please tell me how the stripper got back to Sarah's from the trailer park
I can get weed and taco bell delivered but frozen peas and a loaf of bread are just too scarce, what the hell is wrong with people?
Randomize
