Yeah, i think she was German or something.
No dude, she's just got a speech impediment.
he pointed at my clit and asked with a confused face, 'whats this thingy??"
you spent the like half the night trying to figure out the puzzles on the back of the captn crunch box
i got last night's adventure to take the garbage out when he was leaving. my vagina is THAT good.
i was out of cigarettes so i took the butts out of the ashtray, emptied them out, and proceeded to roll one big Frankenstein cigarette.
I don't have the urge to be a home-wrecker with these two. I think I've grown, don't you?
how do I tell him nicely and in french that we can't have sex anymore because his huge penis will ruin me for other french men?
I'll wind up on his doorstep with a confused "oh you live here" expression, a feigned ankle injury and a seemingly fortunately placed bottle of tequila. I don't care what it takes: HIS MOUTH WILL BE ON MOUTH.
I will never in my life forget you letting the cat lick your tongue
In sex ed. they really need to include a lesson on saying tampon in foreign languages, just in case.... Trying to ask the woman at the reception desk, who barely speaks English, for one just turned into an awkward game of charades.
Ive only just recently decided that NOT fucking you would be best for both of us.
Me and you. The most fucked up people on the planet drinking together. Hell yeah
And now let us go forth, and be garbage people in public.
Isn't that our default mode?
I've never had sex that lasts this long though. It's ridiculous. I feel like I need a Gatorade and a sweatband and a sub.
It's a mix of hot dirty sex and week old bong water
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