I got my half for the rent already.I called the cops on the drug dealer neighbor and got a 500 bucks as a reward
you made pancakes with beer, you said they were good. then you threw up 15 minutes later
Real housewives of new joisy starts MONDAY. Skype session after? Virtual slap the bag?
We'll both be dead in approximately 72-96 hours, with you bringing your liver out of retirement again, Favre.
Just asked the bartender if I could use the register to see my grades.
i understand why you think this is a bad idea but its happening so buckle up an get your whiskey
My whole sorority girl exterior is just a lie. I'm a fat tumblr girl on the inside.
i dont get why youre mad at me. i promised you he looked like jim morrison and you failed to ask me like which era
when I type Christina's, my phone's predictive text assumes my next word is boobage
Riddle me this: I can stream porn just fine but try and watch my college class and nooo it won't work
Be there in 4 minutes
Dashing through the vodka, in a tinder swiping rage, all the fuck boys get a no, laughing all the way.
Are you aware that you called your mom to say hi before you dragged the random guy into bed last night?
The best part about theater chicks is nothing is too cliche or out of line. I just fucked her Braveheart style in my entry way while saying goodbye.
This girl was in the river screaming that someone didn't love her anymore...that's when the guy in a kilt claimed her...
I mean, I'm not hammered, but I definitely can't show my face or tits in that bowling alley again
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