the only girl from my high schools graduating class coming to our school next year went stag to prom and still has braces...
dibs.
Psycho is an understatement. U were running around the house screaming IM UNDER THE IMPERIOUS CURSE
I woke up with semen in my invisalign. My molars were just marinating in it
just watched her puke in her purse and put it back on the bar. then half hour later put her hand in her bag to get a pen to give me her number. I bet she is game for anything
never trust anyone who drives a pt cruiser.... write that down
I know it may not be fiscally responsible to pregame fifty cent night, but I'm gonna go ahead and do it anyway.
your mascara is on the toilet seat from when you fell asleep last night
I fucked her and then she made me sleep on the floor next to her bed because she 'has a committment problem'
saying that you may be able to suck the gay out of me was just my way of getting a blowjob...thank you for the valiant effort.
I'm just going to lay in a blanket cocoon of self pity for the next few months.
I need to stop getting drunk and telling people it isn't "about them."
After we got done he told me to hold his penis because it helps him fall asleep
Morning! Im using your rent money to snort percocet.
I apologize that you just fell victim to my random thought of how to make a blow job come to life via emojis.
What do you do when you legitimately find a hidden sex dungeon in your parents basement next to your bedroom!!?
Randomize
