I hate the awkward morning-after-I-took-your-virginity conversations.
I feel as if I owe my bloodstream some tequila.
What's the big deal? you guys fuck
3 times is my limit. I don't even want to know you exist after 3 times
On that note; HAPPY 21: THE SEQUEL from the back of an ambulance!!
just heard a glass bottle fall in lecture and my first thought was to yell party foul.....is it friday yet?
Why does it always end up with me crying in my car.
She was our DD the least I could do is have sex with her. Even when drunk I'm still chivalrous.
She just rubbed her face all over pool chalk. I feel like it's time to go
Believe it or not I'm actually not the only person sitting in the back of the train covered in glitter and drinking whiskey out of an arizona iced tea can. Small world.
Just got a message on OkCupid from a 20-year-old who has "Momma's Boy" tattoed across his chest and thinks the earth is bigger than the sun.
You are going to come home to a suitcase in the fridge. Just go with it.
Sexting Captain while emailing my eharmony match about my low key weekend is hard.
I just Spray tanned myself while high as fuck its either going to look like a work of art or terrible graffiti
Here's the "to do" list i just found on my phone: buy stripper pole, make sex playlist, buy febreeze
The hangover struggle is to real, just passed the drive thru window. Twice.
Randomize
