So she puts out... but it wasn't worth it
We got bored. So we went to planned parenthood to stare at everyone who made worse decisions than us last night.
I showered today. Officially upgrading myself to useless.
lets start a swedish sibling band together
Best walk of shame ever. Not only did I not remember his name or the fact that we fucked, they all watched as I tried to get into 3 cars that werent mine
Oh and I threw up on myself...
Putting the hydrocodone in Pez dispensers. Do you want Speedy Gonzales or Darth Vader?
You may see me on espn tomorrow drunk, half naked, and selling articles of clothing to rich cougars like i did last year, but i will NOT be drinking shitty beer
like when he blacked out and we found him in the garden eating your tomatoes off the vine
I miss waking up knowing you're passed out under my bed.
But seriously, I hug most of my drug dealers.
YOU WOULD BE SEEING ME. IN MY KITCHEN. BENDING OVER MY OVEN. MAKING YOU CAKE.
Wait, that's an option?
Whoever labeled dysfunctional a bad thing obviously never saw this frinedship coming.
the girl whose rug I peed on is here
I haven't reeked of cheap beer and poor decisions in months. I officially hate adult life.
What's the world record for number of orgasms reached on ones birthday? Asking for a friend.
Randomize
