Let me tell you a story about the rise and fall of my self esteem
mmmm my 21st bday fucking sucks all my best friends are pregnant...selfish assholes. they just couldnt wait til after my bday.
You even been so high breaking up weed with your fingers feels like surgery?
I wonder if he just picks random boners to send or just the realy impressive ones
Nope it's him. He's whispering to himself and buying asparagus.
careful of the bathroom.... theres some drunken ninja turtles in there....
We had sex in the bathroom. Then he told me I could watch him pee.
I think I'm drunk. That wine was old. I found it behind the water heater next to the mouse poison.
I can't feel my brain.
He said i looked like a shooting star sprawled out on the floor while i puked and i kept blaming "senor cuervo" for doing me dirty.
He's a fucking asshole. Who gives good head. And seriously I have never seen someone less committed to hair color
She was two things I dont understand: tall and Christian
For a girl who cried from fear the last time she was asked out, this. Is. TERRIFYING!
Tequila is never to blame. We all make good choices under tequila
I can't believe I watched you put a tampon in in the parking garage
I have 4 more smokes and 6 more beers to go before I make a life changing decision like that.
Randomize
