my mom just informed me my dog smells like cum
The men handing out bibles on the quad are blatantly skipping me... am i that obvious
hey dude i know youre in the next room but me and your sister need a condom, got any i could borrow?
her facebook pictures are like a timeline of all the guys she's screwed.
its my first week of college and i have a UTI
not easy being a whore now is it
Did I at antime last saturday slip away and sign up for a prayer circle?
They got their marriage license when they were at the courthouse for her arraignment.
He asked the clerk if they sell a penis-shaped brander.
After you verbally abused the McDonalds employee for not making your fries fast enough, the fact that you woke up on a random lawn does not surprise me.
Yup, totally tried cooking bacon in the dryer last night.
Oh my god. You have got to get off that breast feeding support group. They're on to you, dude.
Okay. How did someone manage to piss on TOP of a urinal? What giant is roaming around with a prick five feet from the ground?
Had a crazy moment last night. Had to get up, run to bathroom, pop 3 Xanax, sit on bathroom floor and rock myself in fetal position. Not my best moment.
I'm at a restaurant. I am NOT about to discuss my asshole over the phone.
Suspicion confirmed. my mom has her nipples pierced
Way to crack the case Nancy Drew
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