girl has like over 50 stars tattooed on her front, side and back. feels like i just fucked the universe.
theyre just this beautiful family of functioning alcoholics. i want them to adopt me.
All I remember about walking back home was that I maced my shadow.
How the fuck did you end up in a tree? With multiple people?
Periouds do not concern me. Biploogival needs are buological needs.
Dating Detox Day 5: had to go out and buy new batteries. this may be harder than I thought
The best part of tonight is drunk commenting on my moms pic about how birds just want to give you diseases and pluck out your eyes
I'm in Starbucks carrying the boxes wine and the hubcap. So many judging looks.
Just talked to Laura, confirming that is my bra. Hope it goes well with the rest of your wall decorations.
It's my vagina- remember its magical and yes I just did mini spirit fingers
Sunrise bitch. You owe me waffles
okay, but you can't tell anyone. Every time he instagrams something with the caption "avocado," it means he's booty calling me. Happy?
I left my panties in the microwave for too long and they caught on fire
I finished masturbating now I'm eating french toast crunch. What is life, and what are friends.
p.s i need to stop drunk texting my mom. she brings up text convos all the time and i have no idea what shes talking about...
Randomize
