my penis was classy and tasteful, i don't know what her problem was.
The album was titled "Best Night Ever" until she found out she was preggers and switched it to "God Punishes Sluts"
Oh i know my limit. 9 shots after i've given blood.
white trash bash was a total success...cops shut it down twice and her hair stayed in rollers all night..she never broke character
Just because we buy weed together doesn't mean were a couple
you have no chance. her best friend is a human abstinence poster.
the easter KEGG...out of a drunken typo there arose a new and spectacular holiday tradition
In all fairness I did warn the guy I just spray tanned before we had sex so I hold no responsibility for the bronzer all over his sheets
We left your bucket of puke on your doorstep to clean out yourself. You're welcome.
The highlight of my night was when you proclaimed that the man standing next to you smelt like grape medicine...
I don't WANT a sex disease! Especially one assigned to me by my supervisor..
Dude, do you think he'd be pissed if he found out that I always reference him as my starter husband?
You are cut off. Your giant penis and crazy awesome sex is ruining my body...
She is beauty she is grace
she’s masturbsting in front of an open window while drunk af 9am
i thought you had class
You ever have a fart follow you around?
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