@ a funeral. fucking miss uuuu
you didnt know i had herpes?
my dad is going to jail this weekend
where are we going to get our weed from?
Saw a guy in a chef outfit covered in mustard talking jiberish into his phone running across the skywalk.
and i'm pretty sure he drank the lava lamp
Got a personal ride from safe ride. I was crying so hard. The driver said think of something happy and I said Disney. In which I sang him Aladdin. So I got home ok
CHEMICAL ENGINEER. God my mom would be so proud of me.
We picked up some guys dressed as shamrocks at taco bell. I will text you with further information.
Update is I am officially king of Gettysburg. Tam and I are being threaded like royakt. In bought e ruined a drink
Then he shook the next streetlight but this one broke and fell over. He told me, "This is the part where we run."
Her instagram is literally selfies, cats, and guys she's fucked.
I finally had to say "that's the hole where I pee" for him to understand.
And for the record I didn't even have sex last night. I threw up in his toilet and slept in his bed until noon
We have sober sex! It's a real relationship.
Who the hell tries to steal eggnog.
Randomize
