so then you didnt wanna fuck tonight right?
oops, you werent supposed to get that until you left.
Call me so I can make it juicy for ya
At a place where you lie naked on a big pile of pillows and they feed you lobster. You eat it with your bare hands.
never have i ever had a craving for dick this badly
You've picked up chicks by quoting metal bands
When they're drunk they believe it's Shakespeare...enjoy the simple things
can't remember last night but the beers were $3.50, so i can count how many I had by counting my quarters
i can afford to take several trips up and down the parkway right now if I wasn't still hanging over my toilet
I just had a flashback of 4:30am: me hugging the toilet bowl and you handing me a jar of pickles to open. There is something seriously wrong with us.
Do your friends by chance have our inflatable deer head?
Nevermind, it's in the dryer.
Miller High Life will be the death of me. Well, that and shower sex.
We got three kegs and a backhoe. Now taking bets on what charges we end up getting arrested for. Will need bail money.
I know you hold the fastest time for "zoo downhill wheelchair racing" but I don't see what that has to do with this.
I woke up surrounded by goldfish. Thank God my laptop was here too. Now I don't have to leave my bed all day.
I just met him at a place called the meat farm, Jesus be a shield.
So this morning everyone commended me for puking over the porch. No one else made it that far...
just saw a girl run into an automatic sliding door, back up and try again
Randomize
