we made a giant pot of alcholic jello. i filled a gallon bag and brought it to dorms. desk guy gave me weird looks, he doesnt realize this is how i will pass all of my room searches
I haven't been able to trust a girl since spanks came out
My gynecologist inadvertently complimented your penis.
He said he wouldn't use a condom because he didn't want to kill anymore trees.
my self respect just called, its having a good time without me
This stranger told me I should "start playing for the other team" and then continued to talk to me about the joys of being a lesbian
Am I really in your phone as Asshole Jesus??
She just lifted up her dress, screamed "This is gonna be a good one!" And pissed on the pole...
I thought that wasn't a thing ever since she showed you her vag on the dance floor
I just went into a strangers house to have a spoonful of sugar to cure my hiccups, wtf is wrong with me
My apartment smells like a lavender field inside of a giant bong.
My ex came over to hook up...then I went on a date 2 hours later and got a bj. Single: Finally doing it right.
Keywords: shitstorm, police, jail.
A party without a piñata is not a party I want to attend.
Sorry for throwing up in your humidifier last night, I thought it was some sort of electrical garbage can
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