Just got kicked out of the ocean for being "unsafe".
I can only speak casual parseltoungue, im not bad though. just the general, "wheres the bathroom?" "open the chamber of secrets" that type of stuff
IT'S FRIDAY. So quit being a pussy, get out of bed, and come help me drink these 40s. That's not a request.
she has her graduation year in her skype name, it's like a constant reminder that she's jail bait.
what's an appropriate "I'm fucking your grandson but I'm trying to hide it" outfit?
I am slightly proud of the fact his mom turns on the dryer located behind the spare bedroom EVERY time we visit!
Wow! It's so great to hear from you! We all thought you perished in Winepocalypse 2012, man.
Her hookup left his underwear and shorts in the dorm last night... What he was wearing when he left, we may never know.
He ordered a meatball sub with a side of meatballs.
A check for $9 that I used to buy six boxes of Girl Scout cookies bounced. I think I've hit a new low.
I made out with that lesbian chick for a blunt. NO REGRETS.
Isn't it funny how we're still best friends after that incident with the old lady in the bathroom
You fucking bailed on me. But I love you still
I woke up upside down with my head in your ottoman and like a foot of space between the ottoman and chair.. My legs were straight up in the air... Yes. Your mother found me.
yea i'll help you find a man. but, when I say jump, you say on who.
Got baked and laid and ate baked lays when I laid down while baking the brownies I I’m Superman
You’re still high, aren’t you?
Oh yeah
Randomize
