I can only masturbate in one position. It's very inconvenient.
Chris' response to jim throwing up was taking off his shirt and saying WHO WANTS A BONER
Stop. You don't mean that. Tequila might mean that. But you don't mean that.
I had his cock in my mouth and he still wouldn't shut up about Star Wars.
Honestly, your dog is in better hands with that homeless guy.
i just called. the lady was really nice. something tells me my schools clinic gets a lot of calls about chlamydia
I'm sorry I put you in the washing machine. I honestly thought you would fit.
1 tequila 2 tequila 3 tequila, floor.
*roof
Just had sex in the darkroom, while a class was going on ten feet away. I finally have a good sex story.
i went to the 24h massage place last night and brought down the price for a hand job from $50 to $12.75 and half the big mac left in my bag.
A big dick and how quickly they respond to snapchat is all I look for in a guy
Using mass transit when I'm hungover makes me feel like I missed my calling as a serial killer
I was in the rappers prayer circle. Then they're blunt circle
Just shared a bacon biscuit with my cat.... Life is weird for me right now
If they start to date again I refuse to help her sext him. Helping my mom sext my dad is where I draw the line.
Randomize
