Sex on bubble wrap = best decision ever.
i dont know what it is, i just found it in my pants.
Why does everyone think all I do is drink? I go to class on wednesdays
every time i get drunk at her place i end up leaving with nothing but an empty box of toaster strudels..
You were in the corner dancing by yourself yelling "I look good", when really you looked ridiculous and drunk
You peed for a solid 5 minutes last night and turned around halfway through to give everyone watching a thumbs up
Family of uber douches all wearing ed hardy in a hummer taking up 2 parking spots at starbucks. Please be more cliche
I fucked him in the bathroom at Cedar Point. if it hadn't been for me already combining my two favorite things in the world the whole bathroom thing would have been a little disgusting.
Just kicked a guy in his penis in order to win a dance contest on Bourbon....desperate.
I called my dad at 3 a.m. because I thought he'd be proud that I didnt get arrested. Daddys little girl at her finest...
He started doing the gator chop at my vag and said he couldn't wait to "chomp" on it later...and I still slept with him. I hate gainesville.
Everyone is slow dancing to Aerosmith. I am serenading a slice of pizza.
we can't get the sharpie off the toilet seat from where you pressed your forearm with THUG LIFE written on it while you puked until 3 last night
ATTENTION: just found out of have strep. if we have had sex in the past week, might wanna go to the doctor. if you plan to have sex with me in the next 20 days go buy some condoms. stupid antibiotics.
i just woke up from a 4 hour nap, still drunk, to make mac n cheese.
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