Chicken burrito, or no deal.
Is that code for my vagina?
Who the fuck has ever referred to a vagina as a chicken burrito
Life lesson: Don't give a drunk girl a dutch oven after having taco bell. She puked all over my pillow. Funny as hell though.
he told us the story of how he fought ketchup, mustard, and thomas the train engine all in one night. if that doesn't sound like an acid trip i dont know what does.
I need to get the stench of sex and broken dreams out of my room
just fucked my old babysitter, gotta love block parties
I blacked out, started puking and peed on the guy I was hooking up with. Mid hand job.
How old are you? 14? Who gives hand jobs anymore?
Salt in an open wound right now.
I sleep with the gay men, they no longer have questions about their sexuality. No strings attached at it's finest and i get new shopping buddies out if it. It really is a win win situation.
You are my idol.
Tonights dinner consisted of washing down my plan b pill with a bottle of wine and toast. College is turning my life around
We were messing around at his place it was going fine until he said, "I'm going to cum, hand me the shot glass"
I shit you not ... they just advertised a recruiting service for strippers at this concert.
Apparently this is my life now. Fucking men in their 30s with small dogs.
So, seriously. How does it feel to know that you're riding a cock that was in kindergarten when you were going to prom?
I'd do them all but honestly I'm so high that I probably should have a chaperone.
It's like if you wanna bond just do a ropes course or have group sex you don't have to be weird about it
that is our friendship pylon, do not lose it
fuck you.
DO NOT LOSE IT
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