then for some reason i googled "how much to buy a cannon"
just gave him road head on the way home IN A SNOW STORM..good thing we didn't crash or I'd be dead. I DIDN'T HAVE MY SEATBELT ON
clearly you have your priorities straight
I made popcorn. Partly so the room doesn't smell like sex, and partly to apologize for the things you saw when you walked in...
Drunk Tina signed up to be part of the crew team and got a text from the captain telling her there's practice tomorrow. Wtf
There are too many people and smells in this elevator for my hangover to handle.
It was your ex but it was not eighties night, it was pudding wrestling. And either thank you or I'm sorry depending on the state of my pants left on the doorstep
It's 10AM, she's drunk blaring veggie tales and I have a paper to write you've got to be fucking kidding me
Random question, but did I leave a spoon on your dresser last night?
Haha its fine we ask know it. He's still cool thought
Focus on the keyboard man. Focusssss
Well the good news is ill probably have my new boobs by the time he sees me naked
I just shaved my "bikini area" into a fucking pizza slice
Nice. The Governor's son bruised my vagina.
That's going to be the title of my memoir.
The part of "Dave" will now be played by "Rob." Rob, why don't you unzip and show Dave why that is.
I dont know which is weirder.. the fact that i just watched our mom kick ass at beer pong and ride the pole like a true fire girl or the fact that ive never felt closer to her in my life.
It’s only loud for those who wanna get loud. The bowlers are protected.
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