Maybe if i eat something filling like whole wheat pasta it will make me less hungry for things like dick
Either I get my picture taken sitting on a fuckin pony, or I'm not coming.
adderall flavored popcorn. yes we did it and its awesome
They just sang me a song about how small my dick is in front of the whole bar
We haven't even started dating yet but I already decided I'm going to cheat on her
all of the sudden, the other guy at the bar who was celebrating his birthday got a super inspired look on his face and then screamed at me ''our parents fucked on the same day!''
Shit stained towel. The very symbol of how much closer we are as friends. Fall 011... beautiful disaster
the mexican frat downstairs started singing this mariachi song, then out of nowhere some dude busts out a trumpet and plays along. is this even real?
It's like that thing with the devil and the angel except one shoulder has orgasms and the other has stuffed crust pizza and depression.
Woke up with a 22 year old with the number for a different girl written on my stomach, almost 30 can suck my dick I still got this shit
*jedi mind trick* you want to go down on me
a day off where I don’t get laid would be worthless
dude pick up your phone
i cant. im high and theres a wild turkey in my backyard. wouldnt miss this moment for anything
I feel like I haven't slapped your ass in years. This will be awesome.
Like sometimes I’ll be hangry but for dick
Randomize
