i just wanna soil my oats bro
It was just so hard to get through Conan without crying like a baby. I'm just so proud of him.
Just saw my neighbor passed out in his front yard, leg stretching into the road. Full beer in his hand.
i just cleaned out my toilet because i knew that my head would be in it later
i'm so bored i'm watching porn for fun. not even jacking off or anything. just watching.
bowling with tennis balls and shot glasses. whatever you dont knock down after 2 rolls, you drink.
Waaait I'm alsleep in myt car somewhere
I just rubbed my dick on something in your apartment. Can you guess what?
Did you get drunk last night? You put Christian lyrics as your fb status again.
Currently coming up with judgment, the game. Works well on buses, will probably be more entertaining in bars.
I figured you left because I was a shit show. Were you still there when I got locked in the bathroom and didn't know where I was? If not, that could have been a dream. I'm still not sure.
Right... Let's keep my vodka tinged mind focused on simple words
Was my mother there when I broke the stipper pole?
Remember when I made out with that stranger at the bar on my 21 in chicago? I wonder how he's doing
He played Harry Potter Fan Fiction videos to get me in the mood. He might be the one.
Randomize
