I wish I could have two rating systems on iTunes. "This one is a 5 star. This one is only a 5 star when I'm baked."
The first song on his sex mix was "highway to the danger zone"
we made it to hole 3 and then just sat down on the fairway and finished off our case....cheered on other golfers as we let them play through.
rumor has it I kept asking you to go to the "tall grass" with me...sorry about that.
I will give you all my nachos to make this happen
Can't we have real sex instead of you just thrusting the air near me?
You are a piece of meat with a side of awesome to me.
I may have to marry her. She is smarter than me and has a six figure job and doesn't want to have kids. All I have to be is a trophy husband.
I spent the money she owed me on enough magnum condoms to make a blimp. Damn right I'm going to make the best of it.
He pulled a bucket of fried chicken out of his backpack as a peace offering. Under the chicken was a rainbow bag of weed. We're dating again.
I'm attracted to him because he looks like the kind of guy who would lick my asshole without me having to ask.
Your cock has been in the back of my throat. Co-worker is no longer a sufficient title. Fix that shit ASAP
If my vagina were a person, it just ran a marathon.
I didn't want dick. I wanted spaghetti.
I fished a Couples Masturbation DVD out of somebody’s trash and kept it. That’s how desperate I am.
Randomize
