kristin has been a bad kristin
Same, I didn't even get to be tarzan this summer
yeah well we're currently on the phone and she's telling me about how much she misses me and all this shit and i muted myself and i'm watching porn.
it's so much work when my dad takes my car to get fixed, i had to take out the bottles, condoms, and my pipe
i can't remember the last friday i didn't spend in the foetal position
Just heard a guy on the phone saying " ya ill buy the eight ball " then came to my register to ask what asile the sugar substitute is on.
whatever. as long as im no longer referred to as the girl who fucked the pledge on his big brother's couch.
Aww. I feel like I need to kill a puppy just to make room in the world for how cute you are right now
Okay so, sorry but last night we had to put a note on your chest and a key around your neck just so you would make it home.
I broke my heels and ended up on a random party bus where I passed out after a brief stripper pole incident.
The real estate's complaint had the words "loud squealing at 2am" in it. Then I remembered that was me spoon feeding you guys old potato salad while you screeched like baby birds. Great night.
He came in two seconds and stole my pizza so I'm not counting it.
I mean I've seen her tits but I don't know what her voice sounds like
Honestly after an incomprehensible political rant yoga seems like the best option at 2 am
The last thing I remember before blacking out was passing that sobriety test.
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