Actually, all he talks about is how great the sex is with her and how crappy you were at it. Stop being a bitch and gossiping masking it as self-righteousness.
The size of her hoop earrings are directly related to how much of a slut she is.
Calvin and Hobbes are double-teaming a butterfly. They're in the bathroom, and drawing a crowd.
You can't be mad at me for wanting to drink though, it is the reason we're engaged
You were directing traffic around her for 30min after she passed out in the middle of the road.
You really are best friends.
What can I say, he stumbled upon the key to my heart: orgasms and mac 'n cheese.
You know when the three of us hug it out in the alcohol isle in walmart it's gonna be fun.
yea i really dont care about the sex, i just want him to eat my vag. He has to be good at because of his tremors.
Drinking, I should not. Got here I don't know. Still drunk, I am. At courtneys.
I peed in a 7/11 last night. Like literally pretended I pretended I was shopping, looked around, and peed on boxes in the corner. No more tequila
We watched game of thrones, broke up and I drove away blasting ridin solo while he dougied
Ate a live seahorse, then tried to order a nacho bell grande from an ATM.
How the fuck do you get to keep practicing as a Nurse.
Got an egg Mcmuffin combo, and put the hash brown in the sandwich. That level of hungover
Would you paint my ceiling for oral sex?
Hey, before I head out, whats your policy on casual drug use and one night stands?
Randomize
