This fat girl in front of me just got on the bus to go 2 blocks. Do you think she ever wonders why shes fat?
I dont wanna date her. I just wanna be able to run a blacklight over her face and prove ownership.
went to the gyno and found out that i have a birthmark on my clit. its like god gave guys a little help when it comes to getting me off.
on the bus. saw a kid get off at a red light, puke on the sidewalk, and get back on.
She is singing the swedish chef song and throwing utensils. I love this place
That was nice of you. Thank you for respecting the fact that I got cockblocked by a sophomore last night.
We dared each other to drink Arbor Mist, and I waterboarded someone with tequila.
Should I have a moral quandary about Skyping topless with him while his son slept in the other room?
That point of drunk where you're in a bar bathroom and you're like "F*ck you bra! I'm not taking your sh*t anymore! and you take it off and throw it in a trashcan.
Out of curiosity, do you feel happiness for you, or sadness for ME, that you are the only one I drunk text?
I may or may not have pissed on my floor last night
Welcome to 22
She tried to gratify me left handed. Let's just say I've been placed on the 15 day DL.
We duck taped Dave to a rolling chair and shoved him in the bed of the truck then took off for a bit.. We didn't explain it that way when the nurse asked what happened though.
Also, you fell asleep with you hand on and around my cock last night.
THERE'S MORE TO LIFE THAN JUST MISSIONARY
Randomize
