How do you wash franks red hot sauce, whip cream, grapejuice and shame out of silk?
I would just throw it away. You cant just wash out shame, it has to soak for like a month.
Every night before bed, when I used to say prayers, now I just think to myself 'freshman sluts. Soon'
It's hard to believe so much cum came out of such a small penis.
You were competing with my dog to see who had the stronger bark....
Turns out getting tied up to two door handles and forced to repeatedly cum is actually a really good ab workout.
Currently flirting with a 57 year old. Why do i do this
They left me stranded on the side of the road with a table and five gallons of water. They said it was all I really needed to survive. People are staring
Ok but if you die you have to get "I should've listened to Mike" carved into your tombstone
That place is a DUI and an STD waiting to happen. I think I'll pass.
I can't wait til I'm a real grown up and am no longer expected to take 7 shots of raspberry ruby as a pregame to a night of drinking natty lite
Dear lord though. So much glitter. It's just a big gay explosion and all of my whore muscles hurt.
Fuck I am so excited for the first time I can make someone call me Doctor Nikki during sex after I finish my PhD
Single lady's Saturday night: eat doritos, masturbate, eat more doritos. Do shot of Jager. Repeat until desired result is achieved.
I'm taking the day off so I can get drunk at Whole Foods before noon
Just saw a fat guy on a flower print moped. He's my hero.
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