i woke up to 115 texts from him all saying "do you love me??"
This is drunk me apologizing to sober me in advance.. I am sprry about you're trashed house. Mom an dad will be home by 5 so get up and clean. P.s. Mike is in the closet passed out.
This is the last pregnancy scare i've had since i was 12 and i thought you could get pregnant from masturbating.
Go to petsmart and tell me if the dog trainer is the guy I slept with friday. Thanks.
Went to get my tattoo today. Found out the piercing girl is bi. I may just get my nipples done to get hit on tomorrow. Confidence is low these days.
After this weekend, it looks come this holiday season I'll be walking in a winter abortionland.
Seriously, I want to give you a plaque thanking you for your dedicated service to my vagina.
I knew you were blacked out when you started refusing beer.
You may want to re-read your sent texts from last night. You were texting me about your "fire shits" spelled 6 different ways between 3 and 5:30 AM.
I think I'm still drunk...I just gave my empty conditioner bottle a break-up speech before I threw it away.
Good night I hope you dream about knitting and threesomes
is there a line between daddy kink and oedipus complex?
I just quoted part of the Pokemon theme song in a sext... And it worked
Stories. There's stories.
MEGHAN YOU'VE BEEN THERE FOR 20 MINUTES
She's gonna be mad if she finds out you put weed in her house warming cookies
Randomize
