handjob tips. give me some.
Her tits were the only thing that upgraded her from "no way in fuck" to "drunken mistake"
We need to stop sleeping with people based on which NFL team they like.
She's been drinking and was roller blading. I'm sure you can do the math
I miss eating meals at a table and having unprotected sex..
It was the textbook our-balls-touched-while-engaged-in-a-threesome-with-our-bosses-wife conversation.
It amazes and alarms me I'm not shocked to read that.
She was a little hefty, so I turned on the strobe light in our room. Everything looks better with a strobe light.
He called me baby cakes during sex... Can U not
He ordered a meatball sub with a side of meatballs.
They filled a kiddie pool with lube and glitter.
So you can text and rub it at the same time? Bravo.
I can do anything and masturbate, if I truly wanted to.
the awesomest thing about staying behind in our lame ass dorm room by myself during spring break: I've now nutted in 3 inconspicuous locations on your side of the room. brag to me again about how fucking awesome tahoe is you shithead. I dare you.
I’m doing tequila shots with lesbians. This isn’t how I planned my night but I’m not complaining
So the vodka/tequila mix went down fine but the burp made me cry
Kinda thinking about going to my moms wedding high
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