Goal for tonight: Make one last drunken mistake for the semester.
who cares. he's ugly and has a dick this big -->
Shark Week may as well be Shark Weed.
my favorite part of the night was when I was in the bathroom frantically trying to get my cat whiskers and nose off to make hooking up less awkward
She asked the taxi driver to stop at the Texaco because she had to puke. She did then stumbled into the gas station and bought a 40.
you think that next time i come over to do this you can pick up the condom wrappers you used on the other girls
I've also decided that the true test of whether or not you should marry a girl is if she will willingly blow you while you eat Oreos.
Dinner?
YES CON MARGARITAS POR FAVOR!!!! MUCHO MARGARITAS!!!
Just got kicked out of two hot tubs. We were naked the second time. So awkward getting out in front of the security guard.
Wait do you remember that guy last night asking to use my nose ring to open his beer.......
& I just realized there is no vomit smiley. There needs to be a vomit smiley
I feel like Jeremy snapchattong while we're fucking is a perfect example of our generation..
We just had sex on an abandoned logging road while wearing snow shoes. God bless Montana boys.
Last night you dunked donut holes in spinach dip, ate it, threw up, and continued eating. I cant keep up with your drunk eating skills.
I was wondering where the donuts went.
I think a major source of concern would be the fact you snorted a shot. Who does that?
Randomize
