3:47a: I take it you're not on your way over
Why is it people are always in costumes on Cheaters these days? Joe Greco literally just said, "It appears they get chased by a chicken with a chainsaw." WTF?
we were wasted and he didn't have a condom so he called the front desk and asked for one. They didn't "officially" have them but the night manager happened to have one in his wallet. He brought it to the room with two mints.
My #1 goal this summer is to get drunk at olive garden
She handed me her tooth and asked me to hold it so she could swim.
Dude. It just hit me for a second time. My thumbs are huge and moving very quickly. Like stampeding buffalo...
I'm in the Wal Mart stall where we found out you weren't pregnant. This is where I'm going to propose to you. I feel like that would be the most romantic
We found him in the backyard throwing shoes onto the roof yelling "WHO BRINGS CROCS TO A HOUSE PARTY?!"
So last night I taught an old homeless dude to respond to "Blue" so I could shout your my boy Blue at the party
Any chance you used one if the curtain rods in the fireplace room as a sword? One is missing
She just causally held my limp dick in her hand the entire movie. Her parents were cuddling on the couch too..that brave!
I have a fever. Last thing I need to do tonight is be elbow deep in old lady pussy.
What did you two do last night and why did Sam send me a picture of your dick?
Can we relax the "married man" rule just once?
Nothing showshows the government the middle finger more than spending your tax refund on drugs
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