she must wash her vagina with a dirtier vagina
not sure what i find more disconcerting, your text or the fact that i recognized that as a dane cook quote
i wonder if she gts uncomfortable walkin bu when she knows we all know what her pussy tastes like
how does a 20 year old who hasnt gone through puberty yet score the game winning goal? fuck sidney crosby and his small nuts.
At least a dozen asian tourists will be showing their friends pictures of me peeing off of Hoover Dam with a cop pointing his gun at me when they get home. I worry about the impact on their children.
My mom assumed I was crying because he was leaving. Figured that was better than explaining my eye's sensitivity to semen..
I fed him jelly beans while he fingered me. Win, win situation.
You're married and I'm going to make out with a stranger tonight. Isn't that weird? It's like a gap in the time space continium.
How do you leave a condom wrapper under my mom's pillow...
This may not be the best moment to laugh, but I am.
Just watched my entire extended family eat salad out of the bowl i threw up in last night.
I bought new panties to console myself ... you know, because I am going to lose my ovaries. Well, if I don't die of a heart attack first. But at least when the EMS folks find me, I'll be finely dressed from the waist down.
I'm getting paid over-time to sit on reddit and look at dicks and abs all day. I'm really happy right now.
Look, you're talking to the wrong girl here. Tacos>dick always and forever
I can't really feel a difference, so essentially I paid 60 bucks to bedazzle my vag.
You kept apologizing to your car for talking behind its back
Why is there a trampoline for sale in my front yard?
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