just had a dream there were parent teacher conferences in college...scariest dream ever.
she peed. on the sidewalk. it is 2 pm. Help.
Sitting on the floor in my kitchen eating taquitos. Being this drunk the next day has lost its allure post graduation.
We need you. We already made it on global news and are drunk at the election party.
Just had a brita power hour to try to counter act all the wine i chugged last night.....fucking franzia
scream really loud. we think you crawled under the deck
Every man needs a table where they can sit and reflect on the successful penile conquests of the day.
Ok- my dad's ex-wife's Irish nephew. Weird if we fuck or not?
It is a fiery spray of napalm-covered beautiful words that leave a flaming "fuck you" on the ground after I destroy him.
I have not brushed my hair. I'm wearing a yoga hoodie. I look like I slept in a gutter somewhere. Today is going to be a good day.
I haven't answered because I haven't figured out a polite way of saying fuck no
i do my most serious thinking while screwing her. ive pondered everything from quantum physics to the life cycle of a badger. if i keep this up ill have a phd in no time.
I swear if you help me with this I will eat you out and buy you all the Taco Bell you want.
Its not that hard to understand he's my holiday boyfriend, we ignore each other most of the year except on holidays when I give him head
the only fun thing to do here is drink beer and make mistakes. i feel like im in college again
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