Getting fucked up met up rando with a girl I confesswed my love for last night. weird, going with it
If I see one more commercial for The Secret Life of the American Teenager, I'm going to punch the next teenage girl I see in the uterus and scream, "Wear a condom!"
There's an amish chick decked out in amish clothes on a cell phone staring at me.
I can only be a whore so many days outta the week.
Samesies
i find it simply astounding you spelled drunken wrong but pterodactyl right
some guy just pulled a dress out of a fax machine...I have no idea what the hell is going on
I was more concerned about the amount of mcdonalds fries on the floor around me than i was with my lack of clothes.
I just want to have sex and eat oreos. and then take body shots. like everyday.
I don't remember how I broke my nose last night, but I woke up with dried blood everywhere. Also, you should tell that guy how you feel.
He smells like cinnamon, and what I imagine to be orgasms
He started to lick a stick of butter and was calling it Jennifer.
we fucked in the backseat of my car at the observatory, right under the stars. it was a starry, orgasmic filled night
I went home with him again and he LEFT HIS OWN HOUSE at 2 in the morning while I was IN THE BATHROOM.
His acid is intense dude. I was just over at his place laughing about the hole in the wall I was convinced was a cat
Did u find my other sock in your bra? U said u were uneven so I did the gentlemanly thing.
Randomize
