I get drunk and say inappropriate things... you get drunk and sleep with inappropriate people. it's what we do.
Mental note: adding peach schnapps to a gin and tonic does not "water it down."
I feel like now would be a good time to apologize for vomiting in your eye
You need to always be prepared. Like a sex firefighter.
If her puking on your pool table is her sign of a good night, it's time to intervene.
My last two google searches are "shiny things" and "Ohio consent laws." you should visit more often.
She is larger then a hippo. You could cut her open in the middle of a blizzard and crawl in like Luke skywalker. Throw a couch and a tv in there and you're set
Just be aware that next year I will probably try to seduce you to avoid going to the gym
I think the saddest part about my sex life is that most of it is pity sex.
Blow job season was short but glorious.
btw my frat has a search out for you. the "girl who threw up in the middle of the party" but it was on some fat girls. so thank you.
Grrr. Fine. You get oral for being unwrong.
I brought her cheeseburgers and tequila but she's still mad at me.
sorry i was ignoring you last night i accidentally did a bunch of pcp and thought i was inside tron
Idk I just think that seeing that man's Twitter always resulting in me looking for the whiskey is a bad sign
Randomize
