I just googled "whats above a trillion", thats how busy I am at work.
We almost didn't get a second pitcher, but now we're getting a sixth.
no one is going to fuck you in a field of bunnies
We'll cross that bridge when we come to it... Or burn it. Either way we'll deal with it later
I woke up on a raft in a bath tub filled with beer. excellent night.
On my way to the DMV to get arrested
You're probably reading this when you wake up from your "nap" in the front yard. Maybe next week you should go to class, and not start Thirsty Thursday at 9:30 in the morning.
I'm sorry i ruined our friendship with a boner
I pulled my bra outta my purse. Covered in honey mustard. I still lack an explanation.
SIMBAAAA REMEBER WHO YOU ARE
my mom said i came home and fell asleep on the floor. like right in front of her.
dude, I felt like being high in a Santa hat and eating five boxes of cookies was right for today.
We were sad, then we got horny, and then we needed some ranch
She rode me like a jockey on that tiny couch. Then we spooned.
Don't tell me you're on acid again
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