We were chasing that deer in the quad and next thing I remember I woke up in my RAs bed. I'm probably in trouble.
You would only drink if the space jam soundtrack was playing, you thought it was hilarious that before every shot you said "y'all ready for this".
As it would turn out, "jesusssssss" is not the password to enter Faith Chapel's wifi network.
I wasn't expecting a boner of this magnitude
i don't know where i am. i made bad decisions. i think this guy is dead.
I still don't understand how I went from crying to blowing you in like two minutes.
Drag queen told me that I have the cheek bones to do drag. That's supposed to boost my moral.
Um...any recollection of peeing in the pantry
A beef tasting is not what I needed while hungover
... drunk me broke the coffee table?
STOP TALKING ABOUT YOURSELF IN THE THIRD PERSON. YOU DID THE THING.
My Easter dress smells like alcohol, men, and bad decisions
I'm pretty sure I hallucinated the existence of an entire human being last night.
So it turns out strippers do encores if enough people yell. Encore song: Self Esteem.
You wanna come over?
Too high to be booty called. My cereal is growing hair.
at the hospital. Kevin drank straight from the river
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