Do u have any bacon or vodka by chance
I know I'm really high but I swear I just saw him beating off to his fantasy football roster.
Just realized the hot girl at the office got a boob job over the Holiday.....she is now super-hot girl.
Yes, yes she is. This will teach her not to pull her vibrator out and harass people with it at parties.
We were naked in bed for hours and we didn't have sex. Either he's gay or he wants to respect me. Neither of which I approve of.
Well I never thought in the future I'd be able to say "hey remember that Easter I made porn?"
WHY AM I CRAWLING IN OLDER MEN HOLY JESUS
in that moment our bushes were one. and in that moment we were pure.
well at least you didn't have your nipples chewed last night
After that time I came to the conclusion that jeeps are the best cars to have sex in
only I would find a long lost relative through a craigslist casual encounters ad
I put miralax in my rum/coke. Go hard or go home.
Have you ever given your heart and soul to someone and they turn out to be nothing but a great fuck that makes a mean grilled cheese because same
I thought my holiday spirit was gone this year until I got banged to Christmas music. It's back.
So, I can officially cross "getting eaten out in a church confession booth" off my bucket list.
Randomize
