I like you better when you drink
I like you better when I drink too
Blowing lines off from the book where the wild things are... bad babysitter?
i wanted to sleep on a waterbed so i filled up my bathtub so i could fall asleep in it...
Hooked up with 8 guys, puked 4 times, got a few bruises, and my face is still numb... I think this visit has truly impacted my college decision
He wore my sunglasses on his honeymoon..... so there's that.
Dude squirt doesnt even begin to describe it i thought she was the lost portal to atlantis with how much she let out
True. On an unrelated note I helped post bail for both of our ex girlfriends last night. Russian roulette: guess which one is pregnant?
She was wearing some slutty variation of a toga and giving the entire bus a pep talk on why we should black out tonight...I'M IN LOVE AND I DON'T CARE WHO KNOWS IT!
New BDSM fun fact. When you get spanked hard enough with a flat object, you get welts. Welcome to thunderdome, bitches.
What did he say?
NOTHING. GODDAMN HIM AND HIS MAGICAL PENIS!
She's impossible to please. Other than with two fingers and a tongue.
I just did the walk of shame in monkey slippers in the snow
Teach me the song of your people
Named all the presidents in order between puke sessions while semi conscious so that's a thing I can do now
I also told the bartender he probably had a beautiful spleen
What do you mean you haven’t had the fantasy of getting anally penetrated by a tentacle monster?
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