I either just heard my neighbors having sex or she really agreed with whatever he was talking about.
I just looked at all of our spring break pictures... there's a guy getting a blow job in the background of the ones on the beach.
thanks for stopping by when you did. making a meatball quesadilla while high was a bad choice
Just considered the plausability of using my detachable showerhead as a beer bong. Has my life really devolved to this?
I found a big gulp cup full of vomit in my freezer, are you behind this?
While looking for an apartment, I've realized that the way I rate balconies is on the "how easy would it be to smoke weed here" scale.
What other scale is there?
OMG OMG OMG DID YOU KNOW THERE ARE MINI CHOCOLATE COWBOY HATS THAT MEN CAN BUY FOR THEIR PENISES?
You fell asleep mid blowjob with my vibrator in your HAND. So no, I will not bring you pizza.
i snuck out to taco bell in my hospital gown earlier
I responded with "neat-o burrito" to his SEXT...he tried so hard and I just panicked.
Sarah is throwing up still and I'm eating salad with my fingers
He was 6'8" - I shit you not! He sat up in my bed and the ceiling fan got him right in the forehead.
I legitimately thought he died. I even called his mom at 3am and told her. Im done with vodka.
So, I think my BF has slept with several of our sorority sisters
Well, now that you know, yes he has. We didn’t say anything because you seemed so happy. He’s a great guy and none of us have any hard feelings, but yeah, we’re all very familiar with his penis and it’s talents
I’m planning a Pharmasutra for the first night after the pandemic ends
Pharmasutra?
Me + Chris + cocktails + viagra = night of orgasms
Randomize
