My farts woke her up so I pretended to be keep sleeping.
Greg found me on xtube. Who knew random hook ups would leave their web cams on and upload it. At least it shows off big penis.
looks like were buying each other an abortion for our one year present...
That dude you fucked three years ago just won Jeopardy
Btw, whenever you feel discouraged about your life, think about me being frantically upset bc my mobile porn site limited me to only 5 videos a day
I feel like jumping into a breast pit right now. Like the old school ball pits at mcdonalds.
Dude, she's the greatest salesman alive. she convinced chelsea to buy a box of Cheerios for $20. She can find your dick some willing pussy.
Who knew that "When in doubt, pelvic thrust" would end up being the best motto ever? In other news, I think I may have joined roller derby.
That moment when you notice a tiny IR camera pointing at you, in your bed, at the apartment you found on Craigslist.
An old man just slapped my ass and handed me five dollars while I was filling chips at subway. I feel violated, but that was the easiest five dollars I've ever made.
I wouldn't say I LOVE Pacman. I mean, sure, I'd battle against you in an epic Pacman struggle for blow jobs and glory. But I mean, who wouldn't?
You missed the winter stoner olympics last night....I got the gold in blunt rolling
The stripper was dressed as the green lantern. Even for a geeky girls' bachelorette party it was lame ass.
if wiping your ass w an envelope isnt the definition of hitting "financial rock bottom " then nothing is!
the next morning his mother came in to tell me that she made breakfast. she told me to put my clothes on too. awkward.
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