Can i not drive my cunt home
I'm twenty-five. I'm too old to be watching my friend throw up in Chipolte Parking lot.
you know when i was in school the girls definitely did not have the tits the 15 year olds have now. so unfair.
is it gross that my labia hangs so much that guys can't find my clit?
Hey, could you leave the door unlocked? Keys seem hard right now.
Is it wrong of me that I wish I could be a midget for a day so I can give head standing up?
I just saved him in my contacts as "Has 2 kids.. don't drunk text"
She gave me a BJ with my hoodie on. it was like i was blowing myself.
She's more of a "I'm gonna get herpes no matter how great her face looks like" pretty
he was gone before i woke up. left a pee stain, phone number, note and $20 for sheets. safe to say i will not be calling.
Why is your name on a gluestick in a plastic baggy stuck to my door?
There are eight sets of guys I've made out with who have the same name. It's like noah's ark in my mouth.
I thought you were dead but then you asked me if your tits looked good. They did.
Watch out for the bush at the end of your steps. it comes out of nowhere
My ex's sister asked me to be her date to Thanksgiving. Should I go?
Threesome!
Randomize
