we sang "a whole new world" together. either he's my gay best friend or the love of my life.
I'm driving behind a lime green VW that has "Seniors '10!" shoe polished on the rear window. i haven't even seen her yet, but I do have a boner.
We lost the cork forthe wine, so we used a tampon as a replacement. I never loves tampons so much
This flask doesn't match my outfit. I hope the gays don't mind.
You know you stopped at a liquor store to prepare for a 12-year-old's birthday party, right?
A Bum and I jusst hugged. its not even 8 pm.
I opened my door to find him standing there with vodka, McDonalds, a smile and a hard-on. Of course I let him in.
I said geronimo as I came I'm not sure if he appreciated the doctor who reference or was just confused
They switched jackets and you didn't notice. You made out with both of them and had no idea
Also, lets remember that we have known each other for nearly a decade and our two most recent photos to one another are boxes of plan b
I woke up and found piles of popcorn in a trail around my house, ending at a laundry basket full of pillows. What were we trying to catch last night?
and everyone will high five me and girls will approach me offering blowjobs
Well he was mad because I chose tequila over him. He obviously doesn't understand that he will always be second to my first true love.
Man I just realized that my only life problem right now is that I have to convince myself not to fuck a 19-y-o
are you comparing glasses to pregnancy
Randomize
