Dude, no matter how drunk you are, it's not okay to hug every other guy at a strip club. Mainly because boners are far too common.
maybe after you take off her top her face will be hotter
I think you missed the wrong class. Im pretty sure we were taught how to buy cocaine.
I have a feeling that watching gay porn with you was the reason I was dancing in a hurricane of floating dicks in my dream last night.
I specifically found a fat girl to lift me up on her shoulders.\n\nIt was glorious.
I have never heard someone not give a fuck so poetically in my life. I feel like you should be leading men into battle with a speech like that
When you are old and getting humped by saggy balls every other weekend you are gonna wish you had more sex with freshly legal boys. Your vagina will thank you one day. Don't let her down.
If I ever go to Canada, I'm fucking the maple syrup out of his Canadian ass.
It's 11:13am and my chem prof is drinking a beer in class. I guess finals week is stressful for them too
"Local woman assaults strangers with sex toy" is a headline I never want to be about me.
I'm never going to adult. I'm staying a child. The only thing related to adult that I want to do is you.
I was so drunk at your wedding that Uber is now showing up in my Spotify recent searches.
We're gonna have to check the security cameras after last night
Is it a bad sign starting the new year off naked, wet, and alone?
Asking for a friend of course
He invites me over for to adderall and chill. Academic Tuesday
Randomize
