What are these yellow papers in the kitchen?
These are the tickets we got last night.
Did i sign this one as Grizzly Bear?
Yes...yes you did.
She's coming to town, taking me to a Suns Game, wants Anal, and knows we're not going to date, I imagine this is what heaven is like
dunno man, last I saw him he bet me he could eat more ranch the me, then ran off
They asked if I was about to puke and my response was to laugh and suddenly throw up. Continuing my asshole streak I kept laughing while still vomiting.
At some point last night Lemondrops turned into me doing shots of vodka and eating sugar packets at the bar.
you were yelling that somebody needed to take your bra off with such enthusiasm my first thought was that you were on fire.
For the record, rock bottom is where you start crying during porn because your ex used to slap your ass like that.. Continue on with your day now.
Oh yeah. I pretty much fucked the universes brains out lastnight. It was glorious.
I just spent 12 consecutive hours in the same outfit and none of it was pajamas. If that's not personal growth, I don't know what is.
He handed me a beer to drink as he went down on me. I want to keep him
Oh god. Charles just fell off the bar. Didn't spill his drink. He's come so far..
I wrote him a note at the end of the final. I'm hoping I can flirt my way in to an A or B
Hows your mom
Shes good, she claims she wasnt drunk
It occurred to me today, whilst I was on the phone to boyfriend number 1, whilst in the car with boyfriend number 2 who was dropping me at the shops to meet boyfriend number 3 to help me buy a present for boyfriend number 4 that I should be having much more sex than I am.
HILY FUCK HES HERE I HAVE MONISTAT IN ME HE SUPRISED ME
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