thanks...oh and i got my period
told you
oh hush
i love marijuana more then i could love a human baby.
I just packed a bowl in my room and use glad press n' seal to cover it so it wouldn't dump out in my pocket .
I gotta bail on the cookout tonight. Im at the er getting stitches. Re-enacting porno went horribly wrong.
If you were wondering whether I accidentally FaceTime called the undergrad who works for me in lab during a particularly graphic blow job last night, then the answer is yes.
Obviously. I'm here to let you eat things off my boobs and help you get laid.
I didn't punch him it was just love coming out of my fist
I'd like to believe that in some alternate universe we are living this wonderful lesbian life together..
The horniest man in the world doesn't want sex as bad as I want pizza right now.
I CAN FEEL MY HEART BEATING MY WHOLE BODY
the reputation of my dick game is on the line. You're killing the team, here, G
I feel like if he almost got me pregnant once, i can at least say hi in a bar
Just learned a valuable lesson today. Don't open snap chats from 3 am the next morning while sitting next to a small child. They totally saw your dick.
On a scale of 0 to Thanksgiving, there is no amount of food that fights against tequila.
We left him in some bushes a few blocks down toward campus. Did he find his way home?
Randomize
