Dude, way to rack up $80 in pornos in the hotel room last night, and not tell me before I got blindsided at check out.
Heh. Guess I ordered some porno last night. Heh.
All I remember from last night is puking up a box of cheeze-its and the building catching on fire.
On a scale of 1 to last weekend, how hungover are you?
So i was told that i peed in the sink, had sex with a pillow and banged on a washer while singing idian chants
Apparantly 7 1/2 Vicodin is a 1/2 too many.
Don't talk about his dick. That's mine. There's a copyright on it. Use with permission
Bro, the freshmen are smoking in the park again, do you need ammo for ur paintball gun?
I was out with the drag queens until 7am. This is the hangover I needed to kick my ass back to sobriety. Dear Virgin Mary, fuck my life.
............HELP Ive been abducted by vodka and its poisoning my brain fat chicks are getting cute and i slept with my sisters friend who slightly resembles john kerry....,,help
Pretty sure that propositioning you to fly across the country for sex fest '13 isn't something my husband would approve of.
I'm gonna fight the coyote
i literally have the attention span of a weasel on steroids, but yeah, i know who you’re talking about.
He was so traumatized by the It's a small world ride but he immediately pulled out a flask from god-knows-where and got drunk before the ride was over. The ride operator didn't blame him.
It's been three years since Kelly shit in the to go box that we put in Sam's mailbox after we broke up. Considering Sam and I are friends again, should I finally tell him?
i couldn't be more explicit if i hit him upside the head with a dildo
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