i told my grandma i broke up with my boyfriend. her reply " you need to play the field more anyway"
started her walk of shame as my mom and dad walked through my common room door...my dad held the door for her and told her to have a nice day
The cop refused to sing with us, even though he was as happy as we were that the tow truck finally showed up.
I swear this guy grew up in land without leagues. someone should inform him he's way out of mine
Well I turned her sobriety into my own personal drinking game
We should tie ourselves together anytime there is any type of alcohol involved. It's the safest way. I either end up with freshmen or weird ex bfs. You end up with a large cowboy. This is not good for us
i was mezmorized. she was the most beautiful girl that looked like a boy i ever seen
im lying in bed trying to choke myself out because being awake hurts too much
Apparently I give handjobs in my sleep. So that's interesting.
You haven't demanded nudes today. You alright?
Blowing a married man is so much more important than a 12 year olds basketball game.
I can't sleep. Send Llama pictures.
The condoms have been found. I repeat: THE CONDOMS HAVE BEEN FOUND. he isn't a collector!!!
I'm glad that we laid to rest the suspicion that he was keeping them in a scrapbook. yayy
there's crying, and people are upset, and there's a love triangle, and a broken heart, and so much estrogen
i may have just googled 'is philly rioting right now'
Randomize
