FYI: if you have sex in your room with the light on, we can totally see your shadows from the parking lot
Your boyfriend has good rhythm though.
apparentely "Beer Pong Champ" is not a profession, no wonder they havent called me back......
told ya
i fucked her mom dude
there's something to tell the kids
I'm drinking bacardi out of her mom's eco-green starbucks mug and chasing it with her sister's "for track only" vitamin water. Hello suburbia
apparently drunk me likes to play hide the puke.. was not a fun time washing all my legos.
i feel as uncomfortable as your camel toe looks.
I think the duck is in my room. You have no idea how much worse a duck makes a hangover
I'm lost. Please come find me. I'm inside the I-270 circle somewhere. I can hear laughing.
When you hit the 45 minute mark of any argument about The Flintstones, you have to realize: it's no longer you arguing, it's the cocaine arguing.
I'd like to thank you fucktards for dumping the WHOLE box of Tricuits in my bed after I passed out.
Because it was 5am and I had a shitty mixed drink and I was threatening to put my balls in your face.
Not the worst first impression I've experienced.
There was nowhere else for me to go. I'm like the island of misfit toys but I'm hot.
It was a recodring of you having sex ! It was like an ape and a dying mongoose at a buffet Xoxoxo
Look, all I'm looking for is a good time and someone whose chest I can bury my face in
Now I know Sunday Funday means fucking till you loose your voice.
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