dude, i think i am in a porno. I was working out at the hotel gym and some chick was doing yoga and a guy comes up and says "good, now i know your flexible" then they started making out. WTF?
well, if it gives you any insight into how crazy it was, i am currently wikipediaing "anullment"
Omg. I bid $3000 on a cave in Afghanistan on EBay last night.
I am in my freshman residence hall trying to convince an Asian man to give me my pants back. Never. Drinking. Again.
I should put together a new mom basket for her. It would have diapers, vodka, ambien, and tissues for when she cries about her wasted youth.
I FINALLY HAVE A REASON TO DYE MY PUBES BLUE!!!
I WILL NOURISH YOU WITH SOUP AND PENIS!!!!!! And a sandwich of your choosing.......you like turkey?
he told me it was nice to see me not blacked out mumbling to myself in the front seat, I told him it was nice to see him not in handcuffs.
i may have given a gay guy with a mohawk my number last night that said... "you are straight" omg so glad a whole year til my next birthday... also i hit myself in the face with a car door. nice.
you kept saying how you wanted to mainline bacardi right into your bloodstream. medical school is doing wonderful things to your brain
I feel like Captain Morgan shit all over my hopes and dreams last night...
Life update - currently drunk off my ass in the yoga room of SFO at 5:30 in the morning.
I went home with him again and he LEFT HIS OWN HOUSE at 2 in the morning while I was IN THE BATHROOM.
He started talking about getting a puppy together. So of course I went down on him later
Not sure how my purse ended up in the bushes last night... Or why there was a noodle strainer in the toilet.
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