Dude ... paraplegic porn is really creative..
I still have your handprint on my ass. You're not allowed to ignore me yet.
Don't you dare blame me for walking in one walking in on ur fuck session....u decided to fuck where we hid our booze
Ok now a guy in a winnie the pooh costume is grinding on some chick to the song shots
There are 27 signatures on my ass. What the hell happened last night?
Every time someone made a cup you congratulated them by letting them sign your ass.
SEXX, SEXX, SEXX,SEXX,SEX SEX SEXXXXXXX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEXSEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEX.\nimagine that to the can can song. also come to my house. theres a dance routine.
i wish i could tell my students that all of their lessons plans were brought to them by captain morgan and diet coke. it's like seasame street, only for high schoolers being taught by a student teacher.
Please come and kill me with a brick you dont even have to be nice about it just smash myfucking skull in this is the worst hangover ive had for at least a week
No don't worry! What are obnoxious, alcoholic, slut roommates for if not for uplifting words and tales of my folly?!
Getting high in the car with mom and the aunts during intermission for drag queen bingo. Details later.
I NEED TO TAKE A FUCKING BREAK. MY VAGINA IS SMOKING.
He played with my nipples while singing "How great thou art"
I've broken 3 vibrators in the past month because I apparently am "too rough" with them. Is that even possible?!
On a scale of 1-10 I’m at biblical violence
You are, as of last night, the self declared king of pooping. Long may you reign.
Randomize
