how could I be having a bad time, I have the three most important things in life: Goat cheese, Xanax, and Saved By the Bell Re-runs.
I took off my clothes and she wanted to have sex. But then she changed her mind. So we ended up fucking through her panties or something. I don't know it was weird.
Everything was going good until she wanted to update her status...You forgot to close pterodactyl porn from this morning. Clothes went back on.
After waking up today, I would like to find the Jesus preachers on campus to ask for help in asking for forgiveness to God.
Between the two of us weve fucked every guy at this table
she peed. on the sidewalk. it is 2 pm. Help.
Just walk-of-shame'd past fifteen little girls at summer camp. Take a good look girls, I am you in twelve years.
her moans were so awkward that i kept asking "what" when she'd say my name...
I knew it was gonna be weird when she opened the condom with scissors
he just chased his shot of tequila with a chicken nugget.. either its a canadian thing or hes wasted
You overflowed the toilet cuz you tried to flush apples. you said they were singing too loudly
Yeah I just don't know how I feel about my fuck buddy coming to work at my dads office with me.
If she's over 40, she won't believe you if you say " I'm only going to put the head in"
Bootycalls can't go limp that's like against the law
I woke up and there was a tiny sombrero on my penis. Care to explain?
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