Why are there hot girls at the dollar store?
The recession has changed everything man.
okay, prove you're not drunk to me. write 5 true sentences about me with correct grammar.
I am sober. Because I don't drunk. It is bad. People die. I like Domenico because o he bag women what up?
She was drinking straight whiskey out of her peacock shaped vase again.
They're doing a Bong-A-Thon for 4/20. I don't care if you quit. You are coming out of your weed retirement for this.
I need to get skinnier so that I know when pregnancy scares are real...
I need a picture of your dick for my friends birthday card
Dont be alarmed when you find the maintenance guy passed out on your couch. I didn't to explain why I was there so I offered him a drink, I dont know what happened after that.....
Cops just came and got two guys out of my class. I can't do college. Seriously cannot rage at this school anymore.
I can not say for certain that I did not blow someone in the bathroom at the bar at some point.
How many more times can I say I need to get laid before you kill me?
Buying a new bed right now. My options are limited because I need to be able to be tied to it.
It's a herpes check up not a beauty pageant
New rule. If he's too busy to put the "H" in "what" then I'm too busy to put his D in me.
So, I ran into Garrett last night in the laundry room.
Oh really? First post break-up run in. How'd it go? Awkward?
Um. We had sex on a washing machine.
So, do I need to remind you to keep it classy tonight?
No, because if you have to be reminded it isn't classy.
Randomize
