And if you don't call me, I will embarrass you publicly with a can of spray cheez.
They had half off shots during the fourth quarter. I was powerless.
If I threw up, how do I still have the same piece of gum in my mouth from the beginning of the night?
The last thing I remember is trying to split my bridesmaid dress down the back like the incredible hulk.
and you succeeded.
Straight up if I get stuck with her I'm going to drink myself into a prison cell.
Last night in my drunkenness I bought hurricane supplies which included a jug of wine and a bouquet of flowers. Apparently I'm going to woo Irene.
all law school has taught me so far is how to fart quietly during lectures and how to out-argue the ice cream guy when he screws me out of extra toppings.
They have a stripper pole on their deck. Normal.
Either im tripping real hard, or there's a legit land shark in my apartment.
Found out I slept with someone who likes Pitbull. I really should get to know someone better before I sleep with them.
I'm so glad I was blacked out while I was going all exorcist in the bathroom. That's so not a memory I want.
she paid $15 and a box of cheerios for their acid
I'm getting 800 nuggets from McDonald's
so hungover. idk whos house or comp im on
Can you pay somone's bail with a credit card or just cash? I feel like you would know this.
Randomize
