Those balls look pretty dangerous.
Why do bread and butter chips remind me of eating out your mom?
There's a level of bonding between people at the liquor store at 10:30 in the morning that's unrivaled
i remember you telling me to take a shower, brush my teeth, go get back in bed w her, and "just do what i was born to do." and as soon as i stopped yacking i did just that. you saved my birthday.
We were in the shower and he sat down an wouldn't do anything. I'm so glad he manscapes. It made washing his balls less awkward.
When he grabbed my tits it felt like he was either giving me a mammogram or trying to pierce my nipples with his fingers.
I was going to say I needed the exercise but now all I can think about is BJs
My work here is done
I think god invented us with two hands so we can grab an ass and spank it at the same time.
I was thinking that, but I'm not sure the proper etiquette on asking about someone's nipple rings. Even if you did see them and compliment them once.
Of course I'll be there. I never miss an opportunity to smell like cigarettes, cheap beer, and shame.
No sorry. I may be a happy drunk but my gag reflux is an angry drunk.
...its technically supposed to be for the bridal shower but I think I can find an ensemble that says "im hopped up on x. Stick your tongue down my throat." As well as " im supporting your marriage to my brother"
so at target i bought condoms, on sale undies, pasta roni, and martini mix. the old lady who rang me up asked "honey are you a freshman?" yea lady i am, thanks.
Hey, sorry I choked you last night... I was just really excited to see you.
Want to meet at a cool spot and just park like cops side-by-side and you can eat some potatoes and I can smoke a cigarette in your face?
Randomize
