4:25 am: I want you here. Ugh.
I just experienced a full blown christian wedding. I am SO GLAD YOUR WEDDING WASNT THIS.
i like that you affectionately refer to him as "creepy" ever time you talk about him
Brought 2 entire pizzas with to the bar, everyone loves us
some girl just asked me if I was that guy that hooked up with nine girls in one night. officially a local celebrity. gonna try and autograph her boobs.
I'm just pissed at the whore who takes over my body when I'm blacked out.
We had three bowls going. It was a tri-bowl tournament. Harry potter shit.
Make way for the handjob queen! She will grab what she wants, when she wants, and from whomever she wants.
I bet his dick wears a tuxedo.
i'll llet you know if at any point this night starts to make any sense
correction: my vagina hates that I'm smart.
Treating myself to outback while reading the entire manual that comes with my birth control in public. Is this what single has come to?
Some male strippers are here, I threw pancakes at them. It's ok
Molly I still can't believe u puked in that guys hands and still got laid
I found Erin. She's getting a back massage from the coat check boy and drinking all his whiskey.
Randomize
