Yeah, i think she was German or something.
No dude, she's just got a speech impediment.
I'm outside your house...sorry I feel like I don't need formal invites anymore.
i got turned down by a girl after she saw how big my penis was and she said "thats not goin in me"
you said grace in the diner. 5am, drunk, grace. you thanked the man w the mushroom cut for the wonderful supply of screwdrivers
As long as he sees me topless I don't care. Redemption. REEEDDDEMMMPPPTTIIIOOONNNNN
He asked the clerk if they sell a penis-shaped brander.
I am downstairs in the bar now having a beer...actually I ordered two beers and placed one across from me in front of an open chair. I did this for appearance sake, so nobody knew I was double fisting all alone. I'm getting hungry now. I'm thinking of ordering two meals just to keep appearances up.
This taco party has no tacos, just a hot asian guy in booty shorts. We were lied to.
Apparently I'm not allowed to call at 3am anymore and ask to speak to all his siblings. I was just trying to get to know the family
I really enjoy how cavalier you're being about your chlamydia
Are you going to eat tacos off the floor again?
So I can officially say that someone has licked whipped cream off my nipples. Go senior year
Everyone is a disappointment when you lose your virginity to nine inches
Don't forget to bring $1s for the strippers. Make it rain!!!!
Thanks, mom, will do
Dentist appt at 2pm get milk poured on my tits by 2am
A marvelous 12 hours
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